It's a matter of time

by one-11

This week's lessons have centered around time management.

I think that I was way too optimistic about what my time would look like before this process started. According to my schedule, I would be in class for several hours Tuesday and Thursday. I had planned to request a Monday and Wednesday teaching schedule. I would study Monday and Wednesday afternoon. I had even contemplated picking up extra work like tutoring or contract work on Tuesday and Thursday mornings and all day Friday. If I wasn't doing extra work, I would take care of domestic things like cooking meals ahead of time or catching up on laundry. Nice, neat and planned.

My schedule has been modified in that I ended up with a Monday, Wednesday, Friday teaching schedule. I am required to offer office hours everyday. I have papers to grade. Homework requires a LOT of time. And I've already learned the hard way that working at home surrounded by children isn't conducive to completing anything. In an effort to get everything done, I arrive at campus by 8:30 most mornings, and I am there until almost 5:00 Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays. I'm there until after 8:00 on Tuesday and Thursday. And I'm about to join a study group of folks who live here in town that meets on the weekend.

I have no idea where I'd find time for extra work. I'm behind on laundry again. Let's not even talk about all of that cooking ahead that I was going to do. I don't see my friends anymore. (I really miss you guys!) I feel like my children's lives are marching on as I spectate from the sidelines.

I have to remind myself that anything worth having requires hard work. And it takes time to accomplish that hard work. But when it takes so long to get everything done, and my child says “See you tomorrow” as she leaves for school in the morning, I admit that I question whether or not I'm making the right choice. In theory, this will be only three years of my life; and when it's over, I'll hardly remember all of these feelings of angst.

I have vague memories of when my mother returned to school. We talk about when I would call her at the computer lab and remind her that it was about time to finish up and get back home. I'm not scared from the experience. I enjoyed having her teach me her lessons for practice when she was getting certified to teach. I was (and am) proud of her for getting her degrees while raising four children and working.

So I think I'm supposed to walk away from this week knowing that while my time is currently not mine, this is worth it. Right?